Older
Profile
Notes
Pieces Of You bio Host
fat lot oh good...
12:19 p.m.., Tuesday, May. 01, 2007
------------------------------
what do you want?
what DO you want?
- oh so very seriously?
what does anyone want?
---------------------------------
I'm down today. Again. No doubt about it. It's one of those days where I look to the sky and hope there is a piano falling. No shit.
It's one of those days where I hate everything and everyone and feel like I have to pretend I don't, even if there is nobody here. How stupid is that?
Pretty stupid.
It's also one of those days where it feels like there is no future for me. Nothing to look forward too, to hope for. Nothing to wait on, in hopes that there will be something at least somewhat enjoyable. The worst part of this feeling is how it feels like it's these days that I am seeing how things really are and realizing how my optimistic days are nothing but self-delusion or deception.
It's days like today where if I owned a gun, I'd use it. If there were pills that would kill me, I would take them. It's days like today where I can't seem to care what anyone else cares about. It all seems so pointless anyway. Why does everyone else bother? Why does everyone else seem to think their particular life is so important as to keep on keeping on with it? Why are there so many rules. So many obstacles?
Why am I here writing this?
I don't know.